Fear. What They Don’t Tell You About Having a Baby.

You know what the parenting and pregnancy books don’t tell you about…


They don’t tell you that one of the largest components of parenting is fear. I guess that might put a damper on the drunken blissful “you’re gonna have a baby” mood, probably wouldn’t sell as many copies, so they selectively omit this.

Let me be the first to tell you then, parenting is a giant ball of love, trust, anxiety, joy, nostalgia, frustration, and happiness wrapped in fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of the what if’s, fear of what’s next, fear of can I do this, fear of am I doing this right, fear. Continue reading “Fear. What They Don’t Tell You About Having a Baby.”

Preterm labor at 19 weeks, a humbling reality check

Well, I never expected to be in this boat again yet found myself landed in Labor & Delivery last night with quite the scare. This had happened with baby 1 but not until 32 weeks. I was admitted through the ER with the same hum-drum questions, sign here, initial here. I sat waiting for the nurse to wheel me up to the second floor when I realized that they never made me sign for the baby. When I was in pre-term labor with baby 1 I was given authorization forms for the baby in case he was born, this time there was no paperwork. I’m only 19 weeks pregnant and haven’t reached the age of viability yet. So if baby was born there would be no chance of survival, no need to authorize care… When this dawned on me my heart sank. Continue reading “Preterm labor at 19 weeks, a humbling reality check”

A Rant About Winter Pregnancy

It may be an unpopular opinion but I have to say I absolutely hate being pregnant in the winter. Most folks would welcome the cool air over the sweaty hot swelling inducing summer heat. I am NOT one of them.

First off the wardrobe. You have 5+ layers of clothing to put on to do anything. Anything. So much for being bra-less in a sundress and flip flops, oh no, you’ve got tight jeans, an uncomfortable bra, a camisole, a long sweater, socks, a coat, and the winter shoes. It feels as if you’re strapped into a girdle all day long. Overheating despite the frigid temperatures. I rejoice the time of night that I can strip down and put on some comfy sweats and an oversized t-shirt.

Continue reading “A Rant About Winter Pregnancy”

Breast vs Bottle- A Nasty and Unnecessary Mom War

So I guess I’m going to jump on the debate bandwagon because the more I read about this issue, the more posts I see I feel compelled to voice my thoughts and that IS the purpose of a blog, no? My first thought on all of this hoo ha is WHAT THE HECK?? For crying out loud do we really need MORE things to argue about these days, isn’t there enough of that going on in the world, isn’t there enough conflict, enough “I’m better than you”… I mean really.

If you’ve managed to miss all of the hullabaloo let me sum it up for you, there was a formula recall due to insect parts being found in the formula (agreed, gross) and because of this unfortunate situation the lactivists and similar folk out there have used it as a platform to proclaim, again, that Breast Is Best. It’s not just that, the problem is that things are being taken to the extreme like saying “formula feeders deserve this” and nastier comments stepping way over the line. It’s like an underground hate crime against formula feeders.  Continue reading “Breast vs Bottle- A Nasty and Unnecessary Mom War”

It’s a Parent Led Schedule at Our House

When I was pregnant with #1 we decided that we didn’t want to do the whole “go with the flow” parenting style. I needed to have a bit more of a plan, after all, I’m quite the planner. As much as I knew a new baby would throw a wrench into this mix I was still determined to do my best to keep a routine and continue to live life like we did pre-kids with some adjusting.
Continue reading “It’s a Parent Led Schedule at Our House”

Homemade Baby Food Recipes

Alright so I’ve been making HL’s baby food for several weeks now and I’ve got to say it is so gratifying! I love that I know exactly what he’s eating, and that I can provide him with the best nutrients all by myself. So I will start a page for baby food recipes that we find and use along the way in case you’re searching for some ideas or inspiration.

Continue reading “Homemade Baby Food Recipes”

First trip without baby- the update

The update is that everyone survived, grandparents, HL, hubbs and I, we made it through our first separation. End. of. post.

Ok ok, I’ll elaborate. I had a horrible time leaving my sweet baby behind for the first time, it was all the strength that I had to walk out that door and not look back. It was quite possibly the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. For a few days prior I would tear up at random times. Once the day came, we loaded all of his luggage and gear into the grandparent’s house and the floodgates opened. I lost it when I hugged him goodbye and left him in grandpa’s arms. Continue reading “First trip without baby- the update”

The first trip without baby, oh my momma heart

So we’re getting ready to head to Moab for the annual Jeep Safari, a 4 wheel extravaganza that we’ve enjoyed for 6 years running now! With our trip comes the dreaded reality that we must leave our little dude behind.

This will be the first time we’ve left the boy out of our care with anyone and mama is not having an easy time with it. It’s not that I think he isn’t safe without us, he is going to be in great hands, but I am really torn up inside over it. I’m sure every first time mom goes through the same thing when they must abandon the babe, ever so briefly, and be kidless for any amount of time. I mean it just seems unnatural to be taking off without him.  Continue reading “The first trip without baby, oh my momma heart”

The Hourglass of Time- Babies don’t keep

This is a really tough post to get through, as I read the following letter to my son it gave me a lot to ponder

Dear HL,
You are officially 3 months old today… wow… 3 months that brings a smile to my face. We made it buddy, you and me and daddy, we did it. We’ve all been learning this thing together and so far no major injuries so a round of applause for the 3 of us!

Right now you’re dozing off to dreamland next to me on the couch. We’re watching Martha Stewart make superbowl recipes with an audience of all men, the Man Show. I’m looking at all of these men and thinking about how you will be one of them one day. One day too soon I’m sure… What kind of a man will you grow up to be sweet boy… lord knows you have the most amazing role model father to lead the way. Will you be a tough guy? Shy and reserved? A football player or a theater major? What will your dreams and aspirations be HL… what plan will you have for your life…

I can’t wait to be a spectator for your life bubba, I can’t wait to watch you achieve all of your goals and learn about the wonders this world has to offer. I am so proud to be your mother. I am so thankful for everything that you have taught me so far and for the vast amount of lessons that you will continue to teach me throughout life. I cherish these times that I have you all to myself, just you and me, on the couch, snuggling together while you’ll still let me. I love you son, with all of my heart and soul. Happy quarter of a year big boy!

Continue reading “The Hourglass of Time- Babies don’t keep”

The Life of a Work at Home Mom

I had a chance to guest blog for a fellow mom on the life of a work at home mom and my first thought was how totally jealous I am that she has not only one but two precious little babes. I have always had a fascination with multiples, have always dreamed of having a set, or dare I say, two sets ::choke:: I think it would be pure bliss. And I’m sure as she reads this she will laugh hysterically and kindly tell me careful what you wish for! And I get it, I totally get it, it’s easy to get wrapped up in the love drunk idea of twins or triplets but there is this whole thing called REALITY!

Well here I am to offer that same concept and insight into the life of a WAHM. Sounds great right? Sounds like the best of both worlds, you get to continue to make money, have adult interaction, AND stay home with your beautiful bundle. You’re right, it IS great! End of post.

Ok not really… in all seriousness it is the classic double edged sword. I have blogged a little bit in the past of my duality as mom and business owner and it seems with how busy I’ve been lately that this is a natural topic of discussion. Continue reading “The Life of a Work at Home Mom”