A Rant About Winter Pregnancy

It may be an unpopular opinion but I have to say I absolutely hate being pregnant in the winter. Most folks would welcome the cool air over the sweaty hot swelling inducing summer heat. I am NOT one of them.

First off the wardrobe. You have 5+ layers of clothing to put on to do anything. Anything. So much for being bra-less in a sundress and flip flops, oh no, you’ve got tight jeans, an uncomfortable bra, a camisole, a long sweater, socks, a coat, and the winter shoes. It feels as if you’re strapped into a girdle all day long. Overheating despite the frigid temperatures. I rejoice the time of night that I can strip down and put on some comfy sweats and an oversized t-shirt.

Along those same lines, since you’re fully clothed in more layers than an onion, no one knows definitively if you’re pregnant or not. I mean at 6+ mos pregnant with all of my garb on I just look really chubby. Now I don’t know about any other women out there but I don’t ever want to feel chubby. I don’t enjoy the questionable looks of people biting their tongue because they’re not sure if you just packed on the pounds or are indeed pregnant. I almost want to throw on a midriff tee just so that everyone who’s been wondering in secret can finally go “Oh. Yeah she’s definitely pregnant.”

Moving onto the shoes. Like I said, so much for flip flops that you can slip on and off without even bending over. NOPE! Even the slip on boots require bending in half, which let’s be honest, is excruciating at this stage in the game. Therefore, you have to plop your big butt down on the floor to get them on, oh the agony, which means THEN you have to get your big butt back up. No, just no. With a toddler in hand. And a diaper bag.  Forget about any shoes that lace up or god forbid boots with heels and zippers…it’s not happening folks. Basically anything cute is out the window. Unless you could teach the 13 month old to lace or zip for you, now that’s an idea. The wardrobe and boots also make it fun to hike through slush everywhere you go. It’s like working out with ankle weights in a pool, I guess if you’re into that kind of thing it’s no big deal.

Next up, dry Colorado air. Sahara. The air here sucks you dry and it’s a million times worse in the winter. This means annoying eczema, itchiness, and other skin chaos amplified by pregnancy hormones. The result? I itch my legs to the point that they are covered in bruises. I’m not kidding, the itching is so bad that it literally keeps me up all night long even after taking Benadryl right before bedtime. Who needs more nighttime misery on top of the million bathroom trips and beached whale-ness trying to get comfortable lying down? Not me.

Another joy about the winter here, the clocks change back. So basically it gets dark about 5:00 and when it’s dark it makes me feel like it’s time to sleep. I mean I pretty much feel like I’m hibernating in the winter, the clock hit’s 4:30 and it’s time to get dinner going, then we eat, and shortly after it’s crash time. Am I the only one who thinks this SUCKS?! In the summer it’s another story, it doesn’t get dark until about 9. So I don’t even think about dinner until about 7, etc. All in all it leaves a lot of time to hang and relax, visit with friends, throw bbq’s etc.

Not to mention the activities there are to do in the summer vs the winter. We go boating, we have bbq’s, football games with friends, camping, 4 wheeling, playing at the park, gardening, etc. So much to do it’s invigorating. Not so much during the winter and this is coming from someone who LOVES fall. In the winter I feel like a sloth and even more so with a big ol pregnant belly.

Winter doctor’s appointments- nothing new here except now you get to trek out in blizzards with all of the stupid drivers on the planet. Totally safe. That’s if the roads or the office aren’t closed. More mess, more hassle, crappy road conditions mean showing up late to appointments which means stress and high blood pressure readings. And forget about getting acurate weight measurements! Depending on the wardrobe of the day, leggings vs heavy jeans, wool sweaters vs henleys, shoes vs boots, your weight can go up and down 3+ lbs per appointment, many may not worry about this but as someone with a baby that had growth issues these things matter to me.

I really could go on and on and I’ve decided that I will not have another winter pregnancy in the future if I can help it. I’d take the hot sweaty weather anyday over this nonsense.

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